When you believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, you are sealed with the Holy Spirit. Meaning, the enemy does not have access to your soul, you are now God’s with eternal life. However, the enemy will prowl around, looking at your weaknesses, creating havoc so you will turn away from God. The Lord has His Army to fight the enemy and we have His Armor.
In Ephesians chapter 6, The Armor of God is listed, the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteous, the helmet of salvation, the shield of faith, the shoes of peace, the sword of the Spirit and prayer. He tells us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
I don’t fully understand it, but I have experienced it on more than one occasion. It’s real and it’s heavy. What I am about to share are some examples of the spiritual warfare that occurred and it continues to occur to this day. I keep reminding myself, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood.”
During the first six months of fostering, we had no contact with the birth parents (we call them their first parents). Visitations were scheduled for the kids to meet with them but never completed. The little boy turned two and the little girl was growing rapidly. Then in June of 2012, this little boy broke his right tibia after being turned around. Literally, he was twisted around and his leg broke. An investigation was made on us and now the first parents were back on the scene.
In July 2012, my aunt was at home with her last breath and I did not know where she was going for eternity. So, I stepped out of my comfort zone crossing boundaries that were set earlier in our relationship and asked her if she knew where she was headed soon. We talked as much as she could and then I prayed with her. She passed shortly after.
In August of 2012, the court made an action plan for reunification, even though the first parents had not healed. This was extremely scary, since we were not their first placement. Visitations continued to be scheduled, although not always followed through. We never knew until we arrived at the agency where they were scheduled.
In September 2012, God gave me a dream the morning of my dad’s biopsy. The dream was of his passing. Biopsy confirmed pulmonary cancer.
October of 2012 was when this little guy suffered a febrile seizure. It is when a fever spikes so quickly that your brain doesn’t have a chance to regulate it’s temperature due to a virus or bacteria. In his case, strep throat. I never experienced anything like that before. Words cannot describe it. Thankfully, it never happened again. An investigation was made on us and our care for him.
November 2012 brought my dad to life support after he flat lined.
In December of 2012, my dad was in Ann Arbor at the University of Michigan hospital where they found a tumor. It was located at the base of the brain. The very next day, after the tumor was found, Matt and I were accused of doing something to this little boy. And I’m not talking about a “forgot to feed” or a “didn’t bathe him” type of accusation. This was beyond serious.
By this point, we were throwing our hands up and saying, “Really!? What else?” The kids were being reunified. My dad was dying. We had Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) meetings. Kids’ attorney meetings. Visitations that were or were not always followed through on. Plus, some special meetings with the state because little guy’s case had been open for so long. At this point, little guy was two and little girl was one year old.
God’s grace alone had my dad transferred from Ann Arbor to Grand Rapids. He was dying and the staff allowed my dad to be closer to family and friends in order to say goodbye. Thank you, Lord, for this gift. A week later he passed.
The year 2012 was like no other. First six months were bliss. Last six months were hell. No one can make up the stuff that happened or was yet to happen. The year 2013 would start out the same as 2012 ended…more warfare.
January 2013 was a month after my dad had passed and my mom was watching the two littles for us as we were taking the older three boys to basketball on a Saturday morning about 30 minutes away. My mom loved her hot tea and this little girl loved getting into everything now that she was walking and her hands were touching new heights. She opened the craft closet and pulled down the tub of crayons that now spilt all over the floor. My mom set her cup of tea down on the dining room table. As my mom was cleaning up the crayons, the determined little red headed girl grabbed the cup of tea…spilling the contents down the front of her.
Since we were in a different town and little girl needed the E.R., I called a good friend and asked if he could bring them both to E.R. and I would meet them there. So, I took our vehicle and left the basketball games, while Matt and the three boys hitched a ride home. 2nd degree burns with lots of ointments, gauzes and doctor appointments…not to mention another investigation.
January 2013 brought another court date and while I was getting ready to attend court, the Lord reminded me of how everything started…how He had brought us through this first year…and how He would continue to get us through. The was the court when I had to take the stand. I was a nervous wreck. I kept praying for the truth to be revealed. Court ended with reunification still the goal. First dad, first mom now out of picture, was working at meeting the goals needed for reunification.
In March of 2013, little guy broke his left femur. Yes, femur. Because again, he twisted around while his leg was caught in a sectional couch. We never heard of a SPICA cast, but now we know. They are a pain! He was not potty trained at this point. Sponge bathing is a thing. Plus, I had to set alarms throughout the night in order to turn him so he wouldn’t get sores.
April of 2013 we were accused of something different that would again ruin our names. Again, it was false, but still…another investigation. More flaming arrows were thrown at us. We also had another court hearing. Time to start getting the kids ready to be reunified. Time to get our family and friends prepared for reunification with their first dad. It was happening. These two little ones we prayed for were leaving us. Certain arrangements were made for reunification.
At this point we were exhausted…mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Drained. Empty. I remember lying face down on our bed. Trying to cry but there were literally no tears left. How? Why? So many questions. So many emotions. I remember being mad at God (You took my dad a few months ago and now You are taking away two kids). I was mad at the court system. I wanted to take matters into my own hands and make sure everyone in our state capital knew of the disappointment I had in the system. The kids were removed for their best interest but returning them to a certain environment is SO crucial and sensitive and it seemed that the focus was on the parent’s best interest now and not the kids. I know it is a fine line here. I do believe that kids excel with their first parents (the bond, the security, abandonment is a thing, we know, we continue to experience it to this day) as long as…the parent has the capacity to take care of themselves AND their kids. And we were not convinced this was the case.
Instead of going to our state’s capital, our Sunday School class went to prayer. We also invited some prayer warriors to join our class. And we prayed. Following the class, two couples stayed behind and mentored Matt and me. The Lord revealed what we needed to do…pray for the first dad. Pray for the dad and the environment the kids were returning to. Pray that he would have the capacity to take care of himself and the kids. Release the kids. Surrender. And in reality…we may have been the only one praying for this guy. Hard, yes. Difficult, you bet. The man accused us of things beyond comprehension. But with the Holy Spirit’s help and guidance, with the help of intercessory prayer for our behalf, we slowly started to pray for this parent and the kids returning to him. Visitations started looking different. We started packing. We created memory books for the kids by gathering old photos, taking new photos with loved ones and recording milestones we wanted them to know about.
The summer of 2013 revealed the truth. The battle for placement was finished. Rights were terminated for the first dad and paperwork for our adoption started. They officially became Grabills almost two years to the day in December of 2013. Throughout the summer our caseworker and her staff members kept telling us how “atypical this case had been.” Well, there is a reason.
Spiritual warfare is real. The enemy wants souls with him in Hell. He will steal, kill and destroy at any means possible. I am reminded that the battle is His and I have to choose to actively wear His Armor.
“Our struggle is not against flesh and blood.”
I am ONE story,
Kristy