Have you ever had to hold something for a long time? Picture it. Remember the feeling. There you are holding it. The item is getting heavy. You start readjusting your stance. Readjusting your hands or how you are holding the item. You start breathing heavy. Your hands start to sweat. If you drop it, it will be a mess. It may break. Until finally, you surrender and set it down.
Set it down. Surrender.
The white flag is historical. White was easy to see and therefore gave immediate notice for a ceasefire. Surrender. But this is hard, isn’t it? It feels like you are giving up. It feels like I’m not good enough. That I failed.
But this is earthly, not heavenly.
So, why do I hold on?
I hold on to protect myself because of past hurts. I don’t want to feel that way again. I don’t want to trust that person again or anyone else in that matter. So, I will hold on to this wall that I have built around my heart.
I hold on because of control issues. My anxiety can skyrocket in a heartbeat so I will control all areas in my life so I don’t have to feel the anxiety. My brain says it’s better to control than to surrender.
Again, this is earthly. So, what about heavenly? What does this mean and what does it look it?
It means to allow my Shepherd to lead me. To allow my Shepherd to place His yoke on me. It means to trust my Shepherd.
Trust is hard. It means I have to let go. Surrender. I have to stop trying and allow my Shepherd to do His job. I have testimony of when my Shepherd has “proven” Himself. So, why don’t I surrender to Him…because it’s hard! Because I am human. Because I have past hurt. Because I have control issues.
I heard someone say once, “Make a fist. Now open each finger slowly until your palm is open. Ready to let go.” When I tried it, I immediately felt exposed. Vulnerable. Not in control. Not protected.
But when I read and process the words of David, “The Lord is my Shepherd; I have all that I need. He gives me rest. He renews me. He guides me.” If I am honest with myself, at the root, at the end of it, I don’t need anything but my Shepherd.
Then I read and process the words of Jesus in the book of John, “I am the Good Shepherd. I know My sheep. I know them by name.” This makes it personal. He is not just a shepherd, but my Shepherd.
Let’s try it. Make a fist. Think of something that you are holding on to. What needs surrendering? As you release your fingers one by one, imagine transferring it to your Shepherd. Think about Him taking it from you. Think about how He wants to carry this burden. Think about releasing control. Think about your Shepherd taking the weight for you.
Now breathe. It isn’t easy. It will take practice. Your Shepherd, my Shepherd, is waiting to pick up the weight we are carrying. Waiting for us to trust. Waiting for us to surrender.
I am ONE story,
~Kristy
Psalm 23:1 NLT (New Living Translation)
The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need.
Psalm 23:3 NLT (New Living Translation)
He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths.
Matthew 11:28-30 HCSB (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
John 10:14 HCSB (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
“I am the good shepherd. I know My own sheep, and they know Me.